The shadows of sisterhood: Stop comparing yourself to other women

We've all experienced comparing ourselves to other women. Even those of us who have done extensive self-reflection and healing work still doubt ourselves from time to time when another sister shows up shining her light.

Sisterhood isn’t just “love and light” all the time. It is an opportunity to go deep and get real!

Whether we compare our looks, our lifestyles, our relationships, our careers, or anything else -- it prevents us from owning our power and coming together in true sisterhood.

Research shows that social comparison is the best way to damage your self esteem. The more you stare and compare, the worst you’ll feel about yourself.
— Dr. Justin Coulson

Here's some wisdom to help you stop comparing yourself to other women:

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  • Recognize where comparison comes from. Throughout history, women needed to compete with each other to survive. We literally competed for men because historically, men provided protection and security for us and our children. We are in different times today and this old programming is no longer necessary for survival… but these old beliefs have been passed down. Today, this conditioning manifests as self-doubt, lack of confidence, low self-worth, and more. Don't worry. We're here to change that.

  • Practice self-love. It may sound obvious or cliche, but it's actually some of the deepest work we need to do as women. Self-love isn't just a platitude -- it's a journey, and we need to know how to find AUTHENTIC self-love in order to truly rid ourselves of comparison. Here are a few simple tips:

    • If negative thoughts come in, don't push them away. Have compassion for that part of you that feels that way and THEN choose a new, positive thought.

    • Compliment yourself and compliment others -- in your head, or out loud. This forms new neural pathways so you are literally re-wiring your brain to be confident and to uplift others instead of comparing yourself.

    • Remember that the number one way you battle comparison and step into true self-love is by backing your unique essence. No one is YOU, and that is your superpower. You are one of a kind, and beyond compare. Own that, and remind yourself often! If you want extra help with self-love, join our private Facebook group full of wise women.

  • Voice it. Comparison doesn’t need to be taboo to talk about! In fact, voicing these feelings is a part of healing them. When we speak about our inner process in a safe space, we shed the shame and self-judgment. Sharing, in itself, can be the transformation and the release you need to shift this pattern. You can share about it with a trusted friend, or even with the woman you were comparing yourself to. Choosing to have a heart-to-heart with the woman you felt these feelings towards is one of the most courageous and authentic things you can do. We have seen time and time again that this action usually creates a unique bond of friendship between you and the woman you compared yourself to. When you are real and raw, there is a magnetism to you... and who knows? She may become an ally like you've never had before!

  • Do the inner work. At times, it takes fierceness and devotion to looking at the parts of ourselves we often bypass because, quite frankly, it can be really uncomfortable. Other times, the inner work unfolds with ease and grace, and the process of transformation is profoundly empowering and enjoyable! Either way, reflecting, journaling, processing, and digging deep are essential to uprooting the pattern of comparison, once and for all. If you want support with doing your inner work (and if you want to enjoy the process of doing it!) Join the Global Sisterhood for an intimate Virtual Circle.

  • Remember that everything is a reflection. Anything you are jealous about in another sister is truly a reflection of yourself and it is an invitation for you to step up into your greatness, and embrace the parts of yourself that feel unworthy or unloved. What does that mean? Here's an example: If you're jealous of how another sister feels comfortable expressing her sensuality, it's a reflection of how YOU have that same ability, and the universe is asking for you to step into your own sensual power. We are here to learn from one another... so take any comparison as a sign that you are being guided on your journey of healing!

Sister, we are here to remind you that everything can be fuel for your empowerment, and you CAN transform your comparison into confidence.

And furthermore, when we choose to do this work not only individually, but as a sisterhood, it is truly revolutionary. Together as a Global Sisterhood, we can process through our shadows and reclaim our power. This is the most healing work of all!

The rising of the feminine is here, and you are an essential part of it.

It's time to go deep, get real, trust yourself, and trust the journey.

We believe in your ability to transform yourself… and together, we transform the world.