How to Break the Cycle of Judgment



For years I judged myself.

I lived in a type of self-division and self-rejection. This remained the case even into my years of awakening and learning about the importance of self-love.

I knew that having a loving and compassionate relationship with myself was vital, and in my mind, I would think, “Of course I love myself!” Yet, even with this recognition, the critical thoughts remained.

On one level, I knew that I was powerful, beautiful, worthy, and lovable, but on the other, I was self-conscious, insecure, fearful, judgmental, and I had the tendency to compare myself to others quite often.

I knew this wasn’t healthy, but I just couldn’t seem to soothe the critical voice within me, so I could become one with myself – whole, empowered, confident, and content in WHO I AM.

I tried looking into the mirror while saying kind things to myself, and when I thought a negative thought, I would try to affirm something more positive and helpful. However, these affirmations were unable to work for me because I had skipped an important step.


I needed to forgive myself…
For thinking cruel things,
For doubting and rejecting parts of me of that made me unique,
For degrading my gifts and talents,
For wishing that I was smarter, sexier, and more interesting,
For acting out of pain and hurting others,
And for believing that there was something wrong with me due to the difficult experiences I had while growing up.

“Once you forgive yourself, the self-rejection in your mind is over. Self-acceptance begins, and the self-love will grow so strong that you will finally accept yourself just the way you are. That’s the beginning of the free human. Forgiveness is the key.” Don Miguel Ruiz

Growing up, most of us were taught to criticize ourselves, whether by mirroring the adults in our lives or learning judgmental behavior from society. Especially when something “bad” happens or an expectation isn’t met, it’s easy to judge ourselves and think we did something wrong.

We adopt self-judgmental beliefs, and from these belief patterns,
self-destructive behaviors are created.

To end this cycle, we must liberate ourselves with the power of forgiveness and merciful love.

Learning to authentically love yourself begins with self-accountability, compassion, and sincere forgiveness. These are the ingredients needed to heal the division within us, so we can be on our own team! So we can cheer ourselves on as we learn, grow, make mistakes, and learn some more!

This is how we develop a lifelong romance with the power of the universe within us. To co-create with these divine forces, to stand in our true radiance, and gracefully and confidently fulfill our purpose.

–Written by Lauren Elizabeth Walsh

Photo by Julia Caesar

Sister, in sharing about forgiveness, we invite you to look within…
For it is when we forgive ourselves and one another that we learn to trust deeper than ever before, and feel more supported than ever before.
Feeling this support is integral in healing our world.

We believe forgiveness is some of the deepest healing work we can do.

We are here to support you and love you, holding a mirror up to you to show you your brilliance, and what is possible.

Stay with us here, with your hand on your heart. Feel these words. Let us heal, together.

All the parts of you that feel hard to love may stay that way, until you forgive yourself.

For example, if you find it hard to love the negative thoughts you have when you think of your body, extend your compassion to these voices. Instead of pushing them away and white-washing them with pure positivity, consider that these thoughts and this way of being has come as a teacher to you on your path.

Forgive yourself for judging the thoughts and the voices within. See that they have come from a place of feeling hurt and wounded. Consider that this opportunity is a goldmine for your healing and growth.

Through practicing self-love and incredible compassion,
Through healing yourself,
You can help others heal as well.

Simply forgiving is powerful. Yet when combined with making a conscious choice of how you want to live now, in contrast to how you have been in the past, forgiveness becomes a stepping stone on a larger path of transformation and healing.

It is time for all of us to take responsibility for forgiving ourselves, and from there, choose a life that feels more aligned, resonant, and in integrity with the truth in our hearts.

It is time for all of us as women to be an example of change. This is part of what heals our world.

Photo by Eloise Ambursley

How can we learn to forgive the most hurt parts of society, if we don’t first start with forgiving our beautiful selves?

As the unaligned aspects of society and culture reveal themselves more and more each day, it is up to us — as women who are naturally intuitive, transformational, and able to birth — to birth our vision of what is possible for women, and the world… Starting with ourselves and our communities.

NOW is a powerful time to do this work of self-forgiveness, as well as doing the work to transform society through forgiving the forces we have perceived to be oppressive.

Forgiveness combined with strong solutions and action is truly a radical act.

To forgive doesn’t mean to forget. If anything, it means to integrate the lessons and teachings of the wounds we have held. That way, we can hold the gold nuggets of transformation and remember what we have been through so that we can help others alchemize their pain and judgment into incredible forgiveness and self-love.

To forgive doesn’t mean to simply move on, either. It sometimes means holding someone accountable to a better version of themselves. It sometimes means reminding someone of their values, morality, and integrity.

Forgiveness transforms into spiritual activism when we combine the tenderness of unconditional love with fierce boundaries and accountability. 

Now is the time, and you are the woman responsible to passionately dance, feel, and play with releasing the judgment of yourself, so that you can step forward as a part of the solution with love in your heart!

So, sister, we ask you…
What parts of yourself are you ready to forgive?
What parts of your community, family, or culture do you want to forgive?

Let us know in the comments. We are so excited to hear from you! You are welcome to share this blog if it feels resonant.

With all our love,
The Global Sisterhood Team

–Written by Torie Michelle Feldman


  1. Linda Molina

    This is beautiful. I love it. I’m ready to forgive the parts of me that were numb to love. I’m ready to forgive my extended family and culture the drama and the ignorance of their power.

    • Global Sisterhood

      Yes to being ready to forgive. May the healing begin and deepen and be widespread, dear Linda. Being a parent has given me a lens of compassion that I didn’t have before, a perspective that I wasn’t able to perceive before. Now I can see how my passion can sometimes come out as anger and even rage, and if I’m not super conscious, I can direct this towards my children. It is a daily process, and I definitely have to forgive myself, and in the process I forgive my parents and family for how they unconsciously wielded their power. We are all on this path of learning and evolving. Blessings on your heart, dear sister.

  2. Linda Molina

    I truly cherish this wisdom dear sister. As a mother myself, I’m always working on bettering myself. Blessings on your heart.

    • Global Sisterhood

      Thank you, Linda. Yes, as a mother we are constantly receiving feedback from the mirrors that our children are for us. We wish you peace and trust in yourself, and to cultivate a deep well of nourished love for the beautiful role that you play as a mother.

    • Global Sisterhood

      Yes! Being a mother is constant spiritual work. Our children are mirroring back the parts of ourselves that we love and the parts we want to change. There is lots of space for empathy and compassion here for us all. Love to you, Linda!

  3. sunnyday65

    I am ready to forgive the wounded child aspect of myself that fills me with doubt and insecurity. When triggered she lashes out, quits and runs away. She is the aspect of self that doesn’t feel capable or strong. She looks for affirmation and reassurance from others . Although I am so ready to release her, at times I don’t know where she ends and I begin. I truly want to extend love and forgiveness toward myself…so that I can heal and then help others! I went all the way to the deepest part of the interior jungle in Mexico hoping that a gifted spiritual healer could remove whatever was blocking me from experiencing joy and love – but it was brought out that I am the only one that is able to break free from these destructive thought patterns. After listening to Grandmother Flordemayp I realize that I need to ask for Divine help in releasing all that no longer serves me…I am ready!

    • Global Sisterhood

      Hi Sister, yes we support you in calling on the Divine assistance you need to finally release all that is blocking you from experiencing joy and love. Thank you for so bravely claiming your life and your joy again! We are right here beside you, cheering you on, dear one.

    • Nicole Köpke

      Dear sunnyday sister, I’m sure the Universe will help you to forgive your inner child. Next time you meet her you may consider to talk to her and take over to consciously lead your next steps coming from your adult Self: stay instead of running, speak instead of letting others guess what you want, take the lead and DO what you truly want. When we use our muscle of what we want, we wire our whole system for new ways of being and acting. The Universe is INCLUSION based. It is not possible to NOT wanting this and that. It is only possible to focus on what you DO want So pull your focus from the unwanted to the wanted by saying and doing what you want. It takes awareneess of what is going on and then decide consciously how to respond in a new way. I see you leaving old patterns behind BY walking onto new land. Love, Nicole

  4. Inga Penina

    Wow, this very enlightening. I need to forgive myself for making tons of mistakes, for not being patient with me, for the relationship with myself. I need to forgive myself for allowing to be used and abused. Thank you for this initiative.

    Inga Penina

    • Global Sisterhood

      Hello, dear sister @ingapenina, we are all making tons of mistakes–all the time, and it is in making mistakes and living through them that we learn and find our way. So, are there mistakes?? Here’s to you forgiving yourself and standing for your worth. We believe in you!

  5. TinkerTam

    The words, I forgive me, spill from mouth but my heart holds the unforgiveness. The ache throbs so deep that I cannot find the keyhole to free my pain. I am on my journey within myself. It’s time, my child in me screams. I see her cry, I comfort her but am I comforting her to shut her voice? Me, myself and I are in a room, in a circle, staring at the other, wondering if anymore words will be allowed to be aborbed, to be applied or are they oil and water in me?
    I no longer let myself hear others stories. They aren’t real for me. I am the exception or am I the rule?

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